I'm sorry...

When I was growing up, I often broke the rules. I didn't set out to break rules just for the fun of it, but I did push on the rules that I felt had little in common with common sense. In due course, I often was found out, and was asked to apologize. The apology I was taught by everyone in my family, my schooling, and otherwise always included these words: "I'm sorry (I apologize) for what I've done, and I promise not to do it again."

Knowing that often I'd done the wrongdoing with the idea that I didn't feel it was all that wrong, the hardest part to utter in the the apology were actually the "and I promise not to do it again" bit. These words represented the fact that I supposedly recognized that I was mistaken in my judgement of the rule(s), and that I now understood that I needed to act differently in this area going forward. Of course, I didn't always feel that way, but saying those words made it especially difficult when it came time to think again about breaking or not breaking that rule.

Although the grey hairs have caught me, I'm not all that old. However, something that has changed since I was raised is the seeming drop of the "and I promise not to do it again" in the standard apology. I'm not sure how to contact the "Standard Apology Governance Board" to confer on the current accepted apology, but I can say that in my day to day, I don't hear it anymore.

So, why does it matter?

Seemingly it wouldn't. But I think I've found a few places that you, lovely reader, might also think it would.

1. Government officials. Don't we all want those government clowns to really mean it when they've taken kickbacks from lobbyists or switched their stance on an issue completely after being elected? The only opportunity we have to correct this is with a boot from office after the elected term.

2. Spoiled brats. I'm guessing that each time a kid utters a mumbled "sorry" and nothing else, they simply move on, like it was a painless way to get away with something. Almost like enabling the spoiling rather than ending it.

3. Financiers. I love that word. Something about the second syllable rhyming with shears, and that representing what they do to my account (take an exorbitant cut). All these Bernie Madoff types that simply say "I'm sorry......and I hope that those I affected can forgive me" There are many examples of people that have done this twice, and even thrice.

4. Clergy. I'll leave this one largely alone, save for the fact that the Catholic Church did point out that the conduct was wrong, and therefore, it can be interpreted as a "and we won't do it again"

5. Companies.
Defective product that turned your hair green? "Sorry, that's not what we hoped would happen"
Brakes fail without a backup? "Sorry about that."
Dog toy specifically marketed as "extra tough for large dogs" that comes apart within 46 seconds of dog play? "we aren't responsible for it's durability in all situations".
In all situations, we've become such a disposal product society that warranties and product backing are virtually unnecessary, let alone the fact that marketing and product/service reality have diverged entirely.

6. The Parker Brothers game Sorry! There is no mention of "and I'll not do it again" in this far more fun than you might guess game. Perhaps I'll call one of the Parker chaps and talk it over. :)


I'm guessing you can think of a few more instances where a truly contrite response would be appreciated. The point is that it's not just about rote rehearsal of the full apology. It's about the impact on societal norms that dropping the "and I won't do it again" has on our lives. The collective cultural ethic is directly impacted each time that the slap on the wrist gets lighter.

I put forward the notion that a move back to a true sorry would re-instill the personal responsibility and ambition to be a better person that once propped up the United States to be the hands down world leader. For decades, this country had a collective spirit personified most recently in "the greatest generation" that generally didn't use the phrase "who cares?" and truly made things right when wrong.

I would hope that all of this would enable our culture to inflict less pain on one another, be nicer to one another, and respect each other more. Those three items would have an amazing impact on the US as well as the world. But perhaps I've put too much stock in those six simple words "and I won't do it again."

I'm sorry if this blog came across as a cranky old codger's. I promise not to do it again. Happy New Year!

Affect or Effect?

Well, it's been a while, blogger community. I just haven't felt like writing since November of last year - Just one of those periods in life when creativity/positivity isn't at its best, and therefore the need to express drops in step.

Lynne Truss has written a great read on grammar, and its evolution in the world in the recent past - Eats, Shoots & Leaves (think panda). It's truly entertaining, rather than just being a boring book on rules, and those grammar cop readers of this post will know I took more entertainment than learning from it, as I'm sure I have errors throughout.

Ms Truss' book hits upon an often confused pair of similarly pronounced words - Effect and Affect. There are actually five different uses across effect/affect, but just two definitions, both in a verb context, have recently been swirling around my cranium as different events and opportunities pop up.

So, for those that needed to look it up, as I did:
Effect (v): bring about; accomplish; make happen
Affect (v): to act on;

After learning the true delineation between the words, I found myself applying each silently as I made decisions and found situations where they applied. Yep, you guessed it, I'm a learn-by-association/context type.

Moving on - some examples...
I recently attended a church service where I saw many people who listened to a presentation by a missionary. Many of the congregation felt compelled to affect the mission through a donation. One felt the need to effect the mission through volunteering to participate.

Another instance came round with a woman who had fallen from a wave runner and couldn't get back on. Many boaters passing felt affect, and spoke of her trouble with some intent on assistance. One boater passing felt effect and as a result effected change - he helped the woman to safety.

I find it amusing that these words sound nearly identical, and in many contexts have the opposite meaning. I'll admit it..double entendres entertain me more than most. Anyway, the point of this post is this: Live an engaged life. Take the opportunities presented. Stand up for what's right. Let your life's story be written with Effect in lieu of Affect.

Ps. Ironically, the alternate definition of "Affect" as a verb is "to pretend".

Cause for Casual?

Recently, the dress code in my workplace, a white color corporate office, has made a strange evolution.

A few months ago, Friday was known as "Jeans Day". Each Friday was assigned a charity from a list of colleague's suggestions, and for a minor donation of $5 to an administrative assistant, one was allowed to sport Levi's or one of the ever increasing list of "designer" jeans. (Sidebar- interesting that some folk's jeans are actually more costly than their formal wear. Just an observation on the range of choice we have in the modern market.)

One month ago, the policy was questioned. Many things in the organization were going through changes, as were the executives that approved the jeans day. For a few weeks, the Friday's were no longer jeans days - the reasoning being (and as confirmed in an email communicating the policy) "...wearing casual clothes to the workplace may not convey the appropriate workplace ethic". So, with that, done were the dungarees.

A week ago, jeans made a dramatic comeback. Turning a complete 180, the Human Resources department moved to making casual dress ok all the time. The "memo" sent out was worded in a way that made it seem like the new policy was a major capitulation to the masses of workers demanding it...like a gift that had been held back unreasonably for years. Rejoice! rejoice! we can wear our sports jerseys to work! Goodbye cap toes...Mandals and socks forever!

Actually, no. The water cooler scuttlebutt provided none of that sort of joyous exclamation. Perhaps a few folks were happy about the policy, but so far, I'm guessing that there are really only a few small groups of people that were pleased with the policy change:
1. Folks that already dressed casually, and were glad that they no longer were bending the rules - mailroom, server room
2. Folks that like to change rules just to change them (think "...the man" types)
3. Folks that truly think the change to casual will spark a new excitement in the organization, with 5 jeans days a week bringing about improved productivity, better attitudes, and world peace.

So, the folks who already wore whatever they wanted continued to do so, now a bit more proudly. The folks that like to change the rules broke out their awesome 13-color, multi-textural jumpers and Nantucket pink chinos (yes I witnessed both). And the casual-dress-code-will-save-the-world types gladly donned their t-shirts or golf polos, and waited for everything to get awesome. I even noticed one of the C-level executives in jeans...on Wednesday.

However, another group of people started talking about the real potential for downsides to become causal as a result of casual. What about the distraction when a certain colleague's style is vile? It's much easier to cover up with dress clothes...hard to make a suit look really bad, unless it's drastically off-size. But offensive t-shirts, sports jerseys, and beat up jeans are drastically different. What about the possible lack of professionalism that goes along with dressing less "professionally"?

It's proven that clothes are at least PART of an impression one makes. And you'll find studies reporting everything from "casual clothing makes the workforce more creative and more productive, giving them a better attitude" to "employees tend to work less diligently when not feeling like they are in the work environment through the clothing they are wearing". It really comes down to the individual, both from the context of wearer and observer that determines to what degree their own clothes and those of others affect their professional ethic. So, do clothes matter?...that answer is definitely yes. The follow on questions on dress code is where debate and opinion begins.

As for my opinion, I'll simply say that I'm looking forward to seeing how the changes affect this corporate culture, and hope for the best - professionalism remains, creativity/attitude gets better. I'll also hope that I see at least one Bill Cosby sweater or drastically mis-sized pair of jeans each day - that will improve at least this employee's attitude.

Paring Back Swearing

Swearing's so yesterday. And perhaps it's uncouth/uncivilized/unwise as well. At least that's what my 5th grade Sunday School teacher told me after I inadvertently dropped a S bomb in class. Maybe it was my rebellious 11 year old nature that kept me from taking in the teacher's wisdom.

I read an article recently based loosely on the theory that swearing's good for a person...the premise being swearing allows one to expel some of the frustration/pain/etc - the cause for the swearing. After swearing, we feel some relief or closure.

So, all this being known, I think I've come up with a solution that fits all - a new way to both get something off our proverbial chest while also not offending or making ourselves come across as crass.

Admittedly, I didn't come up with this on my own - I was helped through overhearing some of the awesome phrases people use when they want to swear but don't:

Shut the front door! (woman who cuts my hair)
Shut the EFF up! (anonymous, in line with any phrase that simplifies the expletive to a single letter)
Fudge!
Freakin!
Flippin!
Friggin!
Cripes! (guy at Trader Joes that dropped his bags)
Crud!
Jiminy Christmas, Jiminy Crickets
Motherdrucker! (myself)
Shiest! (incorrectly known as german for sh!t)
Holy Sheet Rock! (guy at work fighting with the printer)
Son of a Bench! (dad at playground when his kid slammed him in the head while on swingset)

Ok...back to the idea of mine. Hopefully as you read the above list, you smiled a little bit, and that's exactly the point. Using these phrases (and some of your own invention) in lieu of their more offending, less humorous cousins will allow you to get it off your chest, but immediately thereafter - laugh. And both of those things should put you in a state of mind that keeps you needing to say them again anytime too soon.

A Link for Data Dorks

Quite an interesting website I was pointed to by a friend is found at the end of this paragraph. Those readers who were math or statistics majors and all other data dork readers, you better clear your schedules before pointing to http://www14.wolframalpha.com/. A minor milestone of Web 2.0.

The Out-of-Work Work Out

Recently, I've made an observation I find interesting. I've noticed that exercise, specifically group events like charity runs, bike rides, triathlons, walks, and others are "hot". Exercise events are selling out where I currently live, when they never have before. New types of events such as "Muddy Buddy" and "Adventure Racing" are being invented as quickly as the participants can sign up. Even new excuses for exercise are being marketed and selling - tour London by rollerblade, tour Chicago by running with a tour guide. Newbie sport introduction courses are up in enrollment. The trails/fields/roads are teeming. So, what's leading to this trend? Well, perhaps it's because times are tough. Huh?

Especially where I'm living, economics have become more central to people's lives than ever before, as jobs are lost, pay is cut, and the feeling of worth via worklife is trimmed greatly. So, My theory is that people are participating in sports/exercise activities more because:

1. It's a diversion from life's other downers, and the resultant endorphins create a bit of opiate type euphoria. Both allow an escape from a harsh reality, even if they are short lived. Inversely to drugs and alcohol, exercise is actually a diversion that's good for humans.

2. It's something to affirm life. When difficult times arrive, exercise is one of those base things humans can do that is simple, ageless, and provides everything from solace/introspection (individual sports) to social acceptance (team sports).

3. It's something that gives people hope, and provides an ego boost. This is something Dick and Jane can do for themselves that can't be taken away by an employer or government.

4. Charities are more needy than ever as those with hands out grow in number. Those that aren't in need see these events as something they can do to help, and likely feel less guilty for surviving with less difficulty.

Regardless of the reason, I'm really glad to see people outside doing things, feeling better about themselves, and making the world a nicer place. Perhaps we've relied on worklife to provide more than it's fair share of life satisfaction. We all know that exercise is very beneficial, and even has been shown to extend one's life through an increased measure of happiness. Here's to being truly happy!

Green and Greenbacks

It’s Earth Day!

Hopefully you can find something to do today that is a little step away from your normal routine, but yet gets the collective organic community on this planet a little step closer to a longer existence. Further, hopefully your slightly more green activity today is something you will repeat tomorrow, and the next day, and…

There are many ideas I keep close to my conscious in the name of the environment, but also in the name of economics. Luckily, there are a number of things you can do that benefit both your planet--and your piggy bank. These are “win-win”s to use that hackneyed business phrase. Like what, Scotsman? Well, let’s be a nasty judgemental type for a single blog and step through the day of someone I know to see how many areas crop up that fit this economically minded environmentalist’s ideal.

Let’s call this person Megan...
Megan arises today, and just like every other day she immediately turns on all the lights and television, often two televisions, just in case she’s in either room as she prepares for the day. The lights all on, aren’t a matter of illumination, as 2 of the 6 lights saturate the rooms she’s in with light...it’s a matter of them being there to be used.

Megan enjoys a long shower (can’t fault a person for staying clean), but this is shower number 2 in 12 hours. 20 minute showers both before and after sleep seem a bit redundant, and use quite a lot of water. More on this later. To cap it off, Megan is an obsessively clean person, and spends 5 minutes washing the shower tub down after a shower…with the shower running. So, Megan has now “showered” for 50 minutes each day.

After drying off, Megan throws on some sweats and heads outside to start her car. She’ll be leaving in 15-20 minutes after all, and it’s under 70 degrees F inside her vehicle, so of course she’s got to let it get warmed up. And I must admit, Megan should let her car warm up, for the manner in which she drives – full on gas, or full on brakes requires the car be in top operation to handle her driving “style”. That Megan’s car is in the repair shop often shouldn’t come as a surprise.

Megan then heads for the fridge, looking for breakfast material. She finds a bunch of things that she purchased, but then didn’t make a plan to eat, so they are thrown out. Megan has not just returned from a trip to Mozambique. She simply bought a bunch more food than she could possibly consume in the period between purchase and being inedible.

Megan makes a quick breakfast, and then puts the dishes in the dishwasher. Again, being the obsessively clean person that she is, she notices that the dishwasher is, to her eyes, “full”, and starts the dishwasher to run for a full regular cycle with the energy blasting heated dry option. The dishwasher truly isn’t full of course, and could go days longer until truly having the space within consumed by dirty dishes.

Megan continues to prepare, running the blowdryer up her shirt for 5-10 minutes to warm herself for the day, and then just before heading out, she sets the home thermostat (only one in the house, and not programmable) to be at a nice and toasty 73…in the winter months. This is done so that when she returns from a long day at work, she “doesn’t come home to a cold place”. However, this is Wednesday, and Megan attends a regular gym session Monday, Wednesday, and Friday evenings after work but before returning home. Therefore, when she does return home after a rigorous workout, the house feels “so hot” to her, and therefore she turns the air conditioning system on for 1.5 hours to cool it down to 68 degrees. Of course, the heat will be turned back on before bedtime so that 73 F (“room temperature” to Megan) can be achieved for sleeping.

Through the evening Megan continues to stay busy, or at least the electric meter thinks so. She’s operating 2 laptops, 2 televisions, and her telephone simultaneously until ending the evening.

But there’s one last thing she must do before bed – Laundry. Of course she dirtied clothes today, both at the office and the gym and they must be washed! So, a load of laundry is started, just as with all days to get those clothes clean again.

Eventually, Megan falls asleep, 100 watt “night light” burning, as well as each outdoor light, “just in case” Actually, the outdoor lights never get turned off, since she needs the light when returning home from a long day, and through the evening for “security”.

Hopefully, you’re not a Megan. However, Megan really does exist..the above wasn’t fiction. Her carbon footprint is larger than Sasquatch's. Therefore, those little steps you can take help. They help both the planet recover from Megan’s excesses, and help distance yourself from Megan, as you become part of Darwin’s survivor group in his theory on survival of the fittest. (Actually, Natrual Selection...read this) Lastly, they help you save money!

Here’s a handy water use website I found in case you want to check your own water pulse. I tried to use for Megan’s context, but the website threw an overload error.

Further, here’s a great list of many things you can do to easily be more green.