An Influenza laced Flyover of American Pop Clture

Too many factors couldn't be controlled in my life recently, and I came down with a nasty variant of influenza.  Whether the stress of 17 hours of travel, no sleep for an evening, being stuck in a middle seat between a sneezer and wheezer, or a stressful work day immediately thereafter the aforementioned were the ultimate primary culprit, I am now paying the price.   For those who haven't experience the flu, it's not fun.  Colds with their coughs and headaches and congestion are a relative field day compared to the additional body pains that accompany the flu, and do not accompany sleep.  Not being able to get regular sleep surely is prolonging my flu bout, but I'll just keep trying all the tricks and recommendations I've heard from all.

Anyway, while suffering the day away trying to get comfortable on a typically comfortable couch, I for once was forced to stay in, and take in current American pop culture.    I spent 6 hours in front of a TV, and found myself intrigued, shocked, dismayed, and encouraged...

1. Are Geico and Progressive insurance companies competing for the worst commericals on television?  If you want to run such trite ads, please please choose a reduced frequency.






2. Why are so many American advertisements using a British-accented voice over?   (Are we really so insipid to not catch on that a British accent doesn't make the person, or product, smarter/better?

3. Grammar is all but dead in popular culture.  I think we may have hit the tipping point where idiomatic definitions of phrases have outnumbered the actual definition. E.g. pleading the fifth (but not carrying the "because it could incriminate me"), using "could care less", instead of couldn't care less, and many more.   What saddened me most about this one was that I watched a few C-level executives speaking today, and the incorrect tense, grammar, and word choice flowed.  A few mistakes are fine, but the constant flow I noticed from two execs was dismaying

4. All collegiate BigTen university commercials are 95% identical, save for the specific logos and still shots.  Why make a very expensive commerical if it doesn't convey much of anything about that's university's experience?
Penn State's Men's Basketball team cannot play while on the road.  I viewed a crushing loss at Minnesota (who has fielded a great team this year!), making it a big fat 0-9 on the road record. Ouch...keep the heads up team.

5. T.G.I Friday's wins the award for the worst series of commercials I watched.  Their food offerings didn't seem worthy of a plate either.

6. Reality TV really has "jumped the shark".  Airtime has been given to the most uninteresting situations/people, and these shows cannot possibly go much further, so hopefully soon, rock bottom will truly be stricken, and the air will fill with entertainment or informative programs once again.  I was surprised just how low these show producers aim when aiming at the American public...Hollywood has admitted we're idiots, in large part.

7. Sex continues to be at the center of most advertising...the more things change...

8. Catherine McCormack in Braveheart was so unbelievably attractive!  No makeup, thank you very much.   Even in this medieval era film, her natural beauty flows through.

9. The truth in advertising award goes to Kleenex for their "cool touch" product...this is finally a variation on the hoary facial tissue that is truly different! Kudos, Kleenex.









So, I'm fairly certain you got little use from reading this blog entry, but perhaps it was just a wee bit more entertaining than the latest episode of Alaskan Pawn and Child Beauty Pageant.   Here's to you not contracting the flu this season!

Silver Saab Sedan Stereotype

On this day, I found three silver Saab sedans.  Each time I see a Saab at all I kinda crack a smile, sometimes only internally, but often externally, flexing all those smile muscles in my face that we heard so much about as students in physiology class.

I smile because I once inherited a run down Saab which was very good to me.  I loved that car...great power, sportiness, utility (hatchback)...in fact I loved it so much that I drove it beyond the point of typical operation.  I had little expendible cash at the time, so when the sunroof started leaking, it wasn't trade in time, it was red duct tape time (my Saab was Carmosine Red Metallic like the one below).  This car was so much fun that I continued using it when reverse stopped working, and  when the ignition wouldn't work on a hot day, requiring putting the key in ice for 5 minutes before the ignition. Even scarier, I continued my long 500 mile sprints to Boston when the engine mounts were blown out, causing crazy rattling and never knowing if the engine might just fall out somehow.   I just didn't want to see her go, but the time to sobb for the Saab came...my 9000 turbo soldiered on to 268,000 miles, when at last it left me stranded in an airport parking lot 100 miles from home- after travelling 23 hours from Australia.   This was a breaking point and so the directions for the tow truck driver had to be to the dismantler... but I surely shed a tear.  This car was special - it had a certain je ne c'est quoi - a saab-ness that made it hard to part with.

I further shed a small tear, mostly a tear of worry, when GM invested in a Saab auto spinoff (so rarely do these live up to expectations, but lawyers benefit, so. Anyway, different blog post).   GM plunged completely into Saab in 2000...or rather (I should be more precise), GM made it a wholly owned subsidiary in 2000.   The marketers at GM swore Saab wouldn't lose it's Saab-ness, but surely it was diluted year after year as more GM shared parts became part of making Saab profitable (a handicap likely brought on through the brand bruising of GM's ownership itself), but that's a long story for someone more expert than I.  Here's a video link for someone preferring to watch than read.

This blog is about those three silver Saab sedans. A different smile I get when I see a Saab is because some very good friends drive cars similar, with one friend driving one identical to the cars I saw- a silver saab sedan.  That internal smile turned to an external smile when I noted the driver of the first car - a professor type replete with beret, trimmed beard and some steampunkish oculars.  Awesome! The stereotypical Saab driver!   This made me smile for I've had much experience with Saab owners of the US Northeast, who often turned out to be professors wearing elbow patch sportcoats and beards.  I brought my case for this stereotype to a fellow auto-knowledgeable colleague in the US Midwest, and she thought I couldn't have been further from the truth...

Her case for the Saab driver stereotype was rooted in the gay / lesbian community. Except the convertibles, which were for successful professional women.  I heard plenty of this line of logic when I disclosed that I once drove a Saab.   I couldn't get a good look at the second silver Saab driver I noticed - even after racing around some traffic to get a good view.  However, I did spot a rainbow flag bumper sticker and some sort of "equal marriage for all" message on the back window.   Second stereotype...check. This is easy.

The third silver saab sedan I noticed was when I was leaving Trader Joe's, unsuccessful in finding decent grits...Southern food hankering again.  This Saab's driver blew away all stereotype's entirely- a miss so far from the stereotype mark as to cancel out any points earned in having the earlier drivers match the type.  This driver was a young man with a coiffed mohawk haircut, wearing some punk like earrings.  He was certainly enjoying the saab-ness of his car as he turbo'ed right past my anemic suv.

We often rely, or rather over-rely on stereotypes, and mass decisioning in our lives.  I would encourage you to step forward, pretend you're a Saab driver, and stand up for all that drives you individually.   Wear it proudly.   I for once, savor the smile silver Saab sedans give me...that, and alliteration.

Life and the Extension of Experience

Simple rules abound.  Behind the most complex scientific concepts are simple rules - E = mc^2.  Regardless of flavor, all religions come down to a simple rule of faith. Human relationships, often highly nuanced, boil down to a few basic rules as well.   A few interesting, obvious and absolutely simple rules of life in general recently made themselves evident to me:

1. Life is short.  This one has been handed down in many languages and short phrases through history.  Tempus Fugit, literally "time flees", but oft interpreted as "time flies", and my favorite "time's a wastin'", which I often hear Carl Smith and June Carter scolding me with.  A close relative is Carpe Diem, or "seize the day", which is the natural extension of what to do with the limited time we have on this planet.

This rule can take a while to appreciate in life.  I can imagine some who make it through a lifetime without ever realizing the depth of its wisdom.  Many find this one through the process of a "mid-life crisis" - the point at which looking wholly forward clashes first with a contemplative look backward.   This is an epic moment, a drastic epiphany, where youth graduates, and wisdom is conferred.  At this point, one stops to look both ways, like crossing a road.  Looking back, we see all that we've experienced, and just how much has occurred within a limited span.  Turning to look forward now takes on a new process - one that evolves the question of "what's next?" into "what's the next thing I want to spend limited time on".   Until this point, we were in a rush of the spontaneous road trip of life...all smiles and in the moment living, looking only forward as life's events blurred past.  But then all of a sudden, just as the rush of the road trip of life subsides just a tad, we see a road sign that reads simply "Life is short".   This gives us pause.  We look in the rear view mirror, check the odometer, and most importantly the fuel gauge.  Where next?  What should I do with the fuel I have left?  What sort of story should the rest of this road trip become?  This point in life brings many of us to the next simple rule...

2. The meaning of life is to have meaning.  Happiness, success, love, etc all come from having purpose in life.

Now realizing we've got limited time and resources, decisions about how to spend them become much more difficult.  Or does it?  Virtual experience has continued to expand through time...from second hand storytelling to written word to motion pictures to virtual reality, all dependent on the stage of development in which we reside.  An indigenous indian in the jungles of Colombia has only storytelling , while we developed world denizens have a limitless supply of Travel Channel episodes on demand.  These new channels for knowing just how wide and expansive our world is could make it more difficult to make decisions on where to go and what to do with our ever shrinking, and always fragile life.   However, I'm here to take some stress out of that decision.   Seeing and doing it all doesn't have to be the goal.   Watching and reading it all certainly doesn't provide a valid substitute, as that clearly breaks simple rule #2.

Kicking off with a well tuned imagination, we can effect an experience through our real experiences that are closely related.  Imagination can take actual experience and sort of graft it onto a new setting or context.  Kind of like a merger of the real and virtual or develop an experience that closely resembles an actual experience, yet without the spontaneous interruptions.  High Definition video really helped make this possible, as now you can experience more than center stage.  Between HD clarity and wide cameras, we can a close approximation of the real experience.

Before you stop reading this seemingly suspect line of logic, I'll prove it.  If you've ever had a dream, your brain has followed this exact process without your express permission.  You dreamt of a scene that likely involved you doing things you've never done in places you've never been.   So, if it works while sleeping, why not make it work while awake?   Certainly, this is not an excuse to lay on the couch and daydream, as only real experience provides life meaning.  However, it does allow one to take some of the less important real experiences off the list of "life to-do's" so we can make wise decisions, under less duress, about which real experiences we want to pursue.  If you need more proof, take a read of this New Yorker article.  Then, get started on your next life experience, real or effected, immediately because as even Mr. T knows, Tempus Fugit!

Summons to Scholarship

Not so many years have passed since I attended university that I can't recall at least some things from that era.  Although close friends can recall numerous embarrassing comical adventures that found me during that time, I've lately been reflecting on the words inscribed on the main uni library:  "The library is a summons to scholarship".  

Matched with another snippet of wisdom (aren't the best quotes the short and simple ones?) - "Education's best result is questioning", which I heard early in my college career from a professor.  A psychology professor.   Many people have argued over the centuries on the topic of the core area of study that best supports humanity.  Scientists go further and debate amongst themselves about which is the "central science".  However, I'll make the case for psychology... 

Psychology certainly ties back to Education's best result.   Nothing brings up more questions than amateurly applying psychology to understand peoples' motives, actions, words, and expressions.   Even more questions can be raised and pondered when one tries to apply psychology to analyze complete strangers.  In most amateurish form, this is the classic game of guess the guest, where one makes an attempt to figure out the life context of someone with nothing more than a glance.  Hardly scholarship, but it does exercise the memory of those 75 minute lectures of psychology 101, and also uses any "wisdom" accrued to help better understand the anthropologic logic unfolding before my eyes.  And it's fun...especially when you actually meet the person/people in question and get to confirm or deny any guesses.

It's important to understand that I would never consider using any conjecture to judge, but rather simply to exercise the brain a bit.   In recent days I've been in some unfamilar settings, with cultural norms different to mine, and with time to ponder, all of which has provided a wealth of opportunties to question, answer, and question the answers.   Not taken scientifically, these observations and interactions provide a great bit of fun, as I learn about what makes the folks in this area "tick", and at what pace they "tick tock".   

Furthering the exploration is finding a whole new sub-culture, complete with it's own dialect.   This raised so many questions, which felt almost like a Christmas gift in a way.  Luckily, I was in an area rich with information about the culture and traditions so I wasn't left longing.   The historical path of just this Gullah/Geechee sub-culture alone is so deeply fascinating - although many don't really even know of it's existence, it has had a major impact on their own history in various ways.   What went through the minds of the people who were part of the origination of this culture?  Or, what goes through the mind of someone far removed from it, when they hear the first ever description of it?   These questions are equally important, in my mind, to questions of dates and places of origin - the SAT question stuff.

So, what's the point of this blog entry?   I can't exactly answer that just yet, but I can certainly ask the questions.   Merry Christmas, and Happy Holidays to all.  

Pain that's not Pain

I purposely put myself in the path of pain this past weekend.  However, pain found me in more ways than I expected, and interestingly some pain can serve to counter other pain.  Ok, enough use of the word pain for a bit.

Myself, and 4000 others raced through the beautiful wilderness of northern Michigan for 30 miles on mountain bikes.  Northern Michigan in November isn't typically warm, and this day was no exception - it was 31 degrees (F) that morning, and remained below 33 all day.  I suppose they were serious when titling the race "Iceman Cometh". A partly baked weather forecast for partly sunny skies parted ways around 9am, and snowflakes began falling.  Take cold, add wet, and mountain biking really gets interesting.  During the race, which I did next to zero to prepare for, I went through all sorts of pain, but wonderfully, pain often gave way to joy...

A fast start is often a good strategy in a mountain bike race. That is, unless your legs are cold, and out of shape.  In this case, a fast start is a painful strategy.  Lactic acid, heart rate, burning muscles...you know it as well as I.  At this point, Pain 2 (cold, muscles); Joy 0

Approximately 2 miles into the race, the course finally took a turn into the woods on a single track trail rather than winding on dirt around high schools and fields.   This was welcome since the advantage the in-shape guys were flaunting on me was about to give way to a section that required riding skill, rather than fitness.  I took some joy in immediately passing some chaps on the tight and windy track who had passed me seconds earlier on the flat and open spots.  They were likely more experienced at road cycling, where the fitness and high-cadence pedaling win races regularly. (with the aid of doping).   Pain 2; Joy 1 (skills matter!)

The snow began falling while in the treed section, and the thick, heavy, wet snowdrops came down almost like large soaked cotton balls.   Unusual snow, but very pretty.  However, the wetness on the earthen trail started the mud a-flyin' - not great when you have riders directly in front of you and your mouth must stay open to suck in the copious amount of oxygen needed to keep from falling over.  Pain 3 (dirt in mouth); Joy 2 (awesome snowfall)

The snow continued beautifully falling as the trails became more vertically challenging.  One interesting chemistry/meteorological event that started going on was this mashup of snow, ice, sand, and mud.  The mix exhibited properties very close to velcro!  Tires were virtually sticking to the ground, not rolling with normal ease.  When the ground did let go of one's tires, they were left packed with a layer of this mix, making them much heavier than normal.   Pain 4 (heavy tires, velcro ground); Joy 2.

I continued to trade race places with a few guys that were clearly more adept at the pedaling part (probably road cyclists) as we transitioned between open stretches and single track trails that rewarded bike handling.  This was fun, but really getting old, especially as one of the guys I couldn't shake was really annoying in the way he announced his intent to pass.   Every time he passed me he yelled out "ON YOUR LEFT!!!" incredibly loudly, as if a meteor was about to wipe out Will Smith and the planet.   An uncalled for, blood-curdling scream that gave me concern, and nearly shook me from my bike (perhaps that was the plan?).   Somehow, for reasons I cannot explain, the "affliction" style of clothing made it to cycling gear before everyone realized how terrible it was.  And the guy in front of me was proudly wearing one of the affliction style bike jerseys.  It was such a rediculous look that it gave me pain...but it was a good kind of pain, so that notched the joy count up one.  Pain 4, Joy 3 (don't mess with one's dress)

Soldiering on, I "hit the wall", what's called "bonking" in the cycling world.  Recall my admission of non-preparedness?  I was seriously debilitated by the pain in my muscles...so much so that really all I could muster was keeping them going around using the "granny" gear on the bike. This has only happened to me twice in my life...not fun.  As my pace slowed, I knew this race wouldn't be a great showing, but I was determined to finish, and doubly determined to not get off the bike.  Already, a few tricky parts and near accidents allowed me to show off my 25 years of mountain biking experience to simply stay on the bike.  I noticed so many off their bikes at different times - not able to climb hills, taking a rest, stopping for the water stations, walking it over tough parts, etc.  I didn't.  I mustered all the balance between my inner ears to stay upright and not stop.   Each time I managed this where all others failed, I won a little.  Pain 5 (riding up the steep sandy bits was extreeeemly hard); Joy 4 (little wins)

I was now nearly 90 minutes into this epic race, and due to my legs' condition, I was really starting to think about "how much further!?" Inside my head were a pair of 4 year olds asking "how much further, how much further!!?"  I noticed a sign on a tree and then another.  On each were large numbers.  Yes, the numbers were large in size but my mind, numb from the cold, took a few seconds to register how high the numbers were.  WHOA! 24??!!  What. 30 miles, and I'm only 6 miles in! That's BS!!  A few other profanities flew, I'm sure.  I couldn't believe it...and started dreaming up reasons why it would be wrong. Was it numbered in reverse, as in 24 down, 6 more to go?  Was it some permanent sign used for snowmobiling and had nothing to do with the race?  I asked a rider in front of me that had the mack daddy of electronic gizmo's going "How far are we into this mess so far?"   "15.1 miles" came back the response.  Ahh, 24 kilometers. Through the rest of the race, I saw the kilometer signs, and although now I knew, I still couldn't conjure up the equation to convert it.  Luckily, I could see the car speedometer, so I had a rough idea of the remaining torture. Pain 5.5 (.5 for the temporary pain of confusion); Joy 5 (I'm halfway!)

The trail got snowier, more twisty, and even more encouraging.  As the final miles approached, more and more spectators lined the trails cheering, cowbelling (more cowbell!), and even someone that oddly knew my name yelled out...all of which restores a broken spirit.  The ultimate lift came in that last 100 meters, as I cranked out the last bits of energy from the furthest reaches of my body to sprint to the finish line.  I did it!!!

Pain 6 (another .5 for that sprint at the end); Joy 6 (I finished!)

It felt so awesome to finish this thing, that really felt like one of the most strenuous athletic events I've ever done.  Moreso than 100 miles in 100 degrees on a road bike. Moreso than 20 miles running. Moreso than shoveling stone for 12 hours.  The personal kudos was great, but a personal congrats from someone close put the feeling over the top.   Pain - what pain? it's all been forgotten and converted to joy;  Joy - more than can be counted.

Pushing oneself to accomplish things that feel insurmountable is an incredible ability of the human spirit.  It requires faith, hard work, diligence, and focus, but when it comes together, the reward is...priceless.  I hope you find something like my race soon in your own life.

ps. Reflecting on my particular skill set in the race (bike handling, and downhill parts) versus just plain speed, I think I may look into downhill racing in the future.   Makes sense...it's huge in Scotland after all.

All is right

Hopefully you often have days where things just seem to go right, to fit, to work.   Even if only for a partial day, the experience gives your attitude a check, a reset.   It provides such a great positive perspective, that it alters your entire attitude, which then leads to a better day no matter what happens.

This happened for me today - I noticed beauty all around...from about 4pm on:

Lights were green.
I saw unconditional love in a beautiful woman's eyes.
I witnessed a parent's dedicated care for their child in learning a new sport (and a sunset at once).

Endorphins kicking in on a bike ride, I stopped quick for a drink only to have my eyes forced up from the trail to the forest canopy, resplendent with autumn color.

No real point to be gleaned from the blog. Just well wishing that you find some thing, some person, some activity that gives you this inner peace and holistic wave of "life is good" often, and hopefully earlier than 4pm.

Hello iPhone, Goodbye Dove & Olive Branch

For centuries, humans of similar and non-similar cultures have needed a means to signify compromise, apology, a peaceful relationship.  Greek mythology tells us that Athene set forward a standard for this sort of gesture in an olive branch, planting an olive tree in agreeing to help found Acropolis.   The olive tree's branch has ridden a long and consistent trail of peace-bearing ever since.   

Even a pretty and purity conjuring bird hasn't been able to unseat the olive branch's seat on the peace and reconciliation throne, having to share the honor in many instances. 

Ancient Olympians were awarded an olive branch crown, Romans used it to adorn their currency, and artists all the way to Christ's day used the olive branch often in their works.   It's had quite a consistent history among western cultures, which you can get a cursory read on through Wikipedia.

However, I'm starting to wonder if the olive branch may have a new modern competitor for an article, which holds such great yearning from so many western, and eastern, cultures- The Apple iPhone.

Let's start a new section to Wikipedia's entry on the olive branch or the dove:  "How the iPhone took over".

1. Apple's invention is also often white, the bi-partisan, non-denominational, all-colors-in-one color that continues to carry a peaceful calm.
2. The iPhone is universally coveted, not only in western cultures, but in eastern cultures as well.  Heck, the thing has a decent design, and utility factor - even some alien culture from Pluto probably digs it.
3. The little white brick is often given as an award, be they a science fair winner, conference attendee, or caller 98 to the local FM station.  The last is unlikely to be a future caller, as with an iPhone a radio is rendered obsolete. iPhones are at the top of the gift list for a remarkably wide demographic...even children as young as 6 have them as their most desired gift.
4. People literally love their iPhones.  This quality really puts the iPhone over the top in the dove vs. olive branch vs. iPhone smackdown.   Passion, dependence, and bonding all come about for some through their iPhone.   It brings people together to create, share moments, socialize, and it even gives some purpose.  

Is item 4 above really a stretch, you ask?   Have a gander at this 2012 CNN article, wonderfully peppered with quotes from people about iPhones...

"In what's become an annual rite, thousands of diehard fans of Apple's iconic smartphone endured long overnight lines outside Apple retail stores around the world to be among the first Friday to buy the new iPhone 5." "Throngs of shoppers lined up outside Apple stores in Sydney, Australia; Tokyo; London; Paris; and Munich, Germany, among other cities where the phone went on sale." (Global admiration and ownership aspiration)

"Kelson Horton, 39, had been in line at Lenox Square mall in Atlanta since 5 p.m. Thursday.The truck driver from Jonesboro, Georgia, said he's done so for every iteration of the smartphone that Apple CEO Steve Jobs introduced to the world in 2007. "I've been doing it since Day One," Horton said. "It's the experience more than anything. It just happens to be the hottest phone on the market.  Near the front of a line of about 200 people Friday morning, Horton said he got about an hour's worth of sleep while meeting new friends from what he called "the iPhone family.""  (Societal and cultural identity, bonding, family)

"I've been waiting since midnight, so 12 hours now," said Fahir Wardak, a 21-year-old student. "I haven't really eaten but it wasn't that cold and I've got some tea now so it's alright."And why was his 12-hour wait necessary? "I've already got the iPhone 4S and a MacBook Pro so it's like having a collection really," he added. "You just want to keep going along with it."  (Desire outweighs even basic human needs)

"It's almost like a festival, people just camping in the center of Ginza, just drinking and playing and talking to each other," said Taiyo Nakashima, a 34-year-old Web designer. "It's not really just buying the phone; it's just enjoying the party, really."  (Not about the device as much as the experience, entertainment derived from iPhone camaderie)

Imagine - iPhone for Peace

Sure, there have some issues that arose due to the demand for the iPhone - people getting too aggressive in attempts to become an owner, the lack of peace on patents, and theft, but generally, these little electronic boxes are for what's good in mankind.   

Apple clearly has helped the world advance with its little iPhone wonder. Perhaps John Lennon was even more visionary than we knew when he and fellow Beatles created "Apple" Corps / Apple Records in 1968, going on to record songs like Give Peace a Chance, and Imagine on it.  (joking) Some Apple admirers seem to been even more liberal in the use of their imagination...

The iPhone is well on its way to unseating the dove and olive branch.  Soon we just may see them handed along with medals to triumphant olympians and made as peace offereings among middle eastern enemies.   Perhaps an iPhone will make it on the backside of a $100 bill. That is, provided it doesn't become a currency all it's own - reviewing Apple's stock performance may convince you of that.   Imagine, indeed.