Life's Accents

Not long ago, I spent time in a Spanish speaking world, where my native language, English was rarely understood. If you haven't been in this type of situation, I highly recommend it. Why you ask?
1. It gives you perspective. Remembering how large the world really is helps push us to step outside the complacency we all tend toward, and generally become more accepting, and less self-centered.
2. Experiencing how language and social norms interact to drive behavior differences between cultures is cool.
3. It sparks the part of your brain that pursues knowledge and self-improvement...the area of your personality that pushes to make life greater, deeper, more involved.
4. Funny moments of misunderstanding pop up regularly - often based on misuse of words, accents, etc

Sometimes not only language, but accents can even get in the way for those sharing language (think Downeast Mainer and Creole Louisianan trying to converse on a bad mobile phone line) and this becomes not only comical but at times baffling.   Just how many rounds of "telephone" did some words need to go through before language, dialect, and accent made two speakers of the same language unable to understand each other beyond "hello" or "thanks"??

This concept carries into foreign languages as well, and gets even more exaggerated. Perhaps it's a quirk of Argentine spanish, but I've often found that no matter how hard I tried to pronounce my Spanish  authentically to a Buenos Aires local (taxi driver, hotel clerk, waiter) they didn't have a clue what I was trying to say. If I were in France, I might chalk this up to part attitude, part true incomprehension. But here in B.A. surrounded by pleasant and welcoming Argentinians, It really felt like I was 95% there on accurate pronunciation, and still the taxi drivers reacted as if I was speaking gibberish. It seemed as though the accent was of more importance than the words themselves!

Isn't this a great parallel to life? Accents are akin to nuances in the ways we all complete the same basic things in a day. Take for example, the way that we eat. Some wouldn't dream of ever skipping one of their 6 courses, while others won't eat unless their loved ones are present.  Others still are perfectly fine eating by themselves in a fast food parking lot in under 3 minutes flat.
 
The way we eat, move, talk, walk, and even the way we sleep - all are accented, and these accents are what define us to our friends, family, and strangers...heck, probably even animals.   Just like speaking accents, the differences in our life accents we all hold can provide some exceptional humor at times.  Think about all the instances when total opposites bump into each other's lives somehow...somehow two people are attracted to each other, be it platonic or otherwise, but at the same time they have some polar opposite accents.  Sit back and watch for some laughs, but beware, drama comes with this territory as well.  Call them quirks, endearments, or accents, it certainly is awesome that we've all got our own set of accents, because otherwise we'd just be plain boring.   And speaking of boring, I'll end this blog now, so you can head to a foreign land or learn a new accent!   

Pay-tience

I dropped by a Target store this evening. After having a great afternoon, I was in a special mood - you know the type: the world is right, people are all good, etc. As I walked out of the store, I nearly ran into a man waiting patiently by the $1 Redbox video rental self service machine. I was attempting to throw something away, and in a bit of confusion I thought I was in his way of moving to the door. So, I apologized, and he responded "No problem, I'm just waiting for Arthur". At this moment I thought ok, this guy's a bit off telling me who he's waiting for, so I'll just move on. And then it hit me - this guy was waiting for the new release film Arthur.

Typically I would have continued on, but in this special mood case, I turned round and asked him "So, you're waiting there for someone to return the movie to the machine so you can rent it?" He confirmed. And his answer confirmed my appreciation for passion. Here was a man so interested in seeing this movie that he was willing to stand at the machine for who knows how long to obtain it.

I'm sure a few people walking by this guy may have thought he was odd or crazy. I was happy to encounter someone who has a passion- even if for a Russell Brand remake. I thought for a moment of giving the guy $10 to buy the dvd from the shelf just 100 feet away. That thought was scratched quickly though...this man's patience to satisfy his passion was driven by passion directly. Not wanting to offend or make his quest seem foolish, I said only "Good luck" and moved along.

Life without passion just isn't much of a life. Passion for people, for things, for activities - all emotional connections to things that make us who we are. These individual passions help defend society from the corrosion of conformity, and I'm going to do my part by paying more attention to my own. I hope you can do the same, and find new passions along the way.

Greatest Generation...for the time being

Where is the greatest generation currently growing up? Likely you've seen, read or at least heard of the "Greatest Generation" by Tom Brokaw. If not, the premise centers on the notion that the American generation that lived through the Great Depression, World War II, and the 50's/60's economic boom was history's greatest. There are critics of the idea that this was truly the greatest generation any society has ever produced, but I'm forgoing that debate to ask what society is currently building the greatest generation in present day?


I've recently come across data regarding a international assessment of 15 year old students in the areas of reading, math and science from the Organization for Economic Co-operations and Development (OECD). The results are summarily readable in the above Time/CNN graphic. Many were surprised by these results from 2010, and gave many, including US Secretary of Education Arne Duncan, a chill. The question popped into many american minds - what can we do to improve our next generation?

The discussion started out with the legacy 1980's through 2000's question of impulse "what can we do to achieve best test results?". However, that approach hasn't found a comprehensive strategy, and at least this is one observer who is happy to see that the intellectual leaders and even policy makers have moved the discussion to more of a "what kind of parenting and societal changes can be made to once again instill desire to do the right thing and by extension, the best thing?"

I'm encouraged, as I feel this type of question's answers are exactly the keys to putting a country on a path to creating great generations. I'm further encouraged by a few promising parallels in pop culture discourse - topics that hint at helping to answer this question. Take the recent debate about "Tiger Moms". Another is related to the taxation scheme overhaul and the need for actual governmental responsibility, courtesy the tea party crew.

I'm hopeful that we continue to discuss topics that move current leaders from easy chair to podium, and parents away from helicopter toward tiger. It's not about moving the dots on the graph above to the top right, it's about steering society back toward giving their best, being responsible, and doing what's right. The dot will take care of itself, and even if America never reaches the highest right corner, the society will again be so productive and cohesive such that non-testable skills can easily make up any intellectual gap.

I'm sorry...

When I was growing up, I often broke the rules. I didn't set out to break rules just for the fun of it, but I did push on the rules that I felt had little in common with common sense. In due course, I often was found out, and was asked to apologize. The apology I was taught by everyone in my family, my schooling, and otherwise always included these words: "I'm sorry (I apologize) for what I've done, and I promise not to do it again."

Knowing that often I'd done the wrongdoing with the idea that I didn't feel it was all that wrong, the hardest part to utter in the the apology were actually the "and I promise not to do it again" bit. These words represented the fact that I supposedly recognized that I was mistaken in my judgement of the rule(s), and that I now understood that I needed to act differently in this area going forward. Of course, I didn't always feel that way, but saying those words made it especially difficult when it came time to think again about breaking or not breaking that rule.

Although the grey hairs have caught me, I'm not all that old. However, something that has changed since I was raised is the seeming drop of the "and I promise not to do it again" in the standard apology. I'm not sure how to contact the "Standard Apology Governance Board" to confer on the current accepted apology, but I can say that in my day to day, I don't hear it anymore.

So, why does it matter?

Seemingly it wouldn't. But I think I've found a few places that you, lovely reader, might also think it would.

1. Government officials. Don't we all want those government clowns to really mean it when they've taken kickbacks from lobbyists or switched their stance on an issue completely after being elected? The only opportunity we have to correct this is with a boot from office after the elected term.

2. Spoiled brats. I'm guessing that each time a kid utters a mumbled "sorry" and nothing else, they simply move on, like it was a painless way to get away with something. Almost like enabling the spoiling rather than ending it.

3. Financiers. I love that word. Something about the second syllable rhyming with shears, and that representing what they do to my account (take an exorbitant cut). All these Bernie Madoff types that simply say "I'm sorry......and I hope that those I affected can forgive me" There are many examples of people that have done this twice, and even thrice.

4. Clergy. I'll leave this one largely alone, save for the fact that the Catholic Church did point out that the conduct was wrong, and therefore, it can be interpreted as a "and we won't do it again"

5. Companies.
Defective product that turned your hair green? "Sorry, that's not what we hoped would happen"
Brakes fail without a backup? "Sorry about that."
Dog toy specifically marketed as "extra tough for large dogs" that comes apart within 46 seconds of dog play? "we aren't responsible for it's durability in all situations".
In all situations, we've become such a disposal product society that warranties and product backing are virtually unnecessary, let alone the fact that marketing and product/service reality have diverged entirely.

6. The Parker Brothers game Sorry! There is no mention of "and I'll not do it again" in this far more fun than you might guess game. Perhaps I'll call one of the Parker chaps and talk it over. :)


I'm guessing you can think of a few more instances where a truly contrite response would be appreciated. The point is that it's not just about rote rehearsal of the full apology. It's about the impact on societal norms that dropping the "and I won't do it again" has on our lives. The collective cultural ethic is directly impacted each time that the slap on the wrist gets lighter.

I put forward the notion that a move back to a true sorry would re-instill the personal responsibility and ambition to be a better person that once propped up the United States to be the hands down world leader. For decades, this country had a collective spirit personified most recently in "the greatest generation" that generally didn't use the phrase "who cares?" and truly made things right when wrong.

I would hope that all of this would enable our culture to inflict less pain on one another, be nicer to one another, and respect each other more. Those three items would have an amazing impact on the US as well as the world. But perhaps I've put too much stock in those six simple words "and I won't do it again."

I'm sorry if this blog came across as a cranky old codger's. I promise not to do it again. Happy New Year!

Affect or Effect?

Well, it's been a while, blogger community. I just haven't felt like writing since November of last year - Just one of those periods in life when creativity/positivity isn't at its best, and therefore the need to express drops in step.

Lynne Truss has written a great read on grammar, and its evolution in the world in the recent past - Eats, Shoots & Leaves (think panda). It's truly entertaining, rather than just being a boring book on rules, and those grammar cop readers of this post will know I took more entertainment than learning from it, as I'm sure I have errors throughout.

Ms Truss' book hits upon an often confused pair of similarly pronounced words - Effect and Affect. There are actually five different uses across effect/affect, but just two definitions, both in a verb context, have recently been swirling around my cranium as different events and opportunities pop up.

So, for those that needed to look it up, as I did:
Effect (v): bring about; accomplish; make happen
Affect (v): to act on;

After learning the true delineation between the words, I found myself applying each silently as I made decisions and found situations where they applied. Yep, you guessed it, I'm a learn-by-association/context type.

Moving on - some examples...
I recently attended a church service where I saw many people who listened to a presentation by a missionary. Many of the congregation felt compelled to affect the mission through a donation. One felt the need to effect the mission through volunteering to participate.

Another instance came round with a woman who had fallen from a wave runner and couldn't get back on. Many boaters passing felt affect, and spoke of her trouble with some intent on assistance. One boater passing felt effect and as a result effected change - he helped the woman to safety.

I find it amusing that these words sound nearly identical, and in many contexts have the opposite meaning. I'll admit it..double entendres entertain me more than most. Anyway, the point of this post is this: Live an engaged life. Take the opportunities presented. Stand up for what's right. Let your life's story be written with Effect in lieu of Affect.

Ps. Ironically, the alternate definition of "Affect" as a verb is "to pretend".

Cause for Casual?

Recently, the dress code in my workplace, a white color corporate office, has made a strange evolution.

A few months ago, Friday was known as "Jeans Day". Each Friday was assigned a charity from a list of colleague's suggestions, and for a minor donation of $5 to an administrative assistant, one was allowed to sport Levi's or one of the ever increasing list of "designer" jeans. (Sidebar- interesting that some folk's jeans are actually more costly than their formal wear. Just an observation on the range of choice we have in the modern market.)

One month ago, the policy was questioned. Many things in the organization were going through changes, as were the executives that approved the jeans day. For a few weeks, the Friday's were no longer jeans days - the reasoning being (and as confirmed in an email communicating the policy) "...wearing casual clothes to the workplace may not convey the appropriate workplace ethic". So, with that, done were the dungarees.

A week ago, jeans made a dramatic comeback. Turning a complete 180, the Human Resources department moved to making casual dress ok all the time. The "memo" sent out was worded in a way that made it seem like the new policy was a major capitulation to the masses of workers demanding it...like a gift that had been held back unreasonably for years. Rejoice! rejoice! we can wear our sports jerseys to work! Goodbye cap toes...Mandals and socks forever!

Actually, no. The water cooler scuttlebutt provided none of that sort of joyous exclamation. Perhaps a few folks were happy about the policy, but so far, I'm guessing that there are really only a few small groups of people that were pleased with the policy change:
1. Folks that already dressed casually, and were glad that they no longer were bending the rules - mailroom, server room
2. Folks that like to change rules just to change them (think "...the man" types)
3. Folks that truly think the change to casual will spark a new excitement in the organization, with 5 jeans days a week bringing about improved productivity, better attitudes, and world peace.

So, the folks who already wore whatever they wanted continued to do so, now a bit more proudly. The folks that like to change the rules broke out their awesome 13-color, multi-textural jumpers and Nantucket pink chinos (yes I witnessed both). And the casual-dress-code-will-save-the-world types gladly donned their t-shirts or golf polos, and waited for everything to get awesome. I even noticed one of the C-level executives in jeans...on Wednesday.

However, another group of people started talking about the real potential for downsides to become causal as a result of casual. What about the distraction when a certain colleague's style is vile? It's much easier to cover up with dress clothes...hard to make a suit look really bad, unless it's drastically off-size. But offensive t-shirts, sports jerseys, and beat up jeans are drastically different. What about the possible lack of professionalism that goes along with dressing less "professionally"?

It's proven that clothes are at least PART of an impression one makes. And you'll find studies reporting everything from "casual clothing makes the workforce more creative and more productive, giving them a better attitude" to "employees tend to work less diligently when not feeling like they are in the work environment through the clothing they are wearing". It really comes down to the individual, both from the context of wearer and observer that determines to what degree their own clothes and those of others affect their professional ethic. So, do clothes matter?...that answer is definitely yes. The follow on questions on dress code is where debate and opinion begins.

As for my opinion, I'll simply say that I'm looking forward to seeing how the changes affect this corporate culture, and hope for the best - professionalism remains, creativity/attitude gets better. I'll also hope that I see at least one Bill Cosby sweater or drastically mis-sized pair of jeans each day - that will improve at least this employee's attitude.

Paring Back Swearing

Swearing's so yesterday. And perhaps it's uncouth/uncivilized/unwise as well. At least that's what my 5th grade Sunday School teacher told me after I inadvertently dropped a S bomb in class. Maybe it was my rebellious 11 year old nature that kept me from taking in the teacher's wisdom.

I read an article recently based loosely on the theory that swearing's good for a person...the premise being swearing allows one to expel some of the frustration/pain/etc - the cause for the swearing. After swearing, we feel some relief or closure.

So, all this being known, I think I've come up with a solution that fits all - a new way to both get something off our proverbial chest while also not offending or making ourselves come across as crass.

Admittedly, I didn't come up with this on my own - I was helped through overhearing some of the awesome phrases people use when they want to swear but don't:

Shut the front door! (woman who cuts my hair)
Shut the EFF up! (anonymous, in line with any phrase that simplifies the expletive to a single letter)
Fudge!
Freakin!
Flippin!
Friggin!
Cripes! (guy at Trader Joes that dropped his bags)
Crud!
Jiminy Christmas, Jiminy Crickets
Motherdrucker! (myself)
Shiest! (incorrectly known as german for sh!t)
Holy Sheet Rock! (guy at work fighting with the printer)
Son of a Bench! (dad at playground when his kid slammed him in the head while on swingset)

Ok...back to the idea of mine. Hopefully as you read the above list, you smiled a little bit, and that's exactly the point. Using these phrases (and some of your own invention) in lieu of their more offending, less humorous cousins will allow you to get it off your chest, but immediately thereafter - laugh. And both of those things should put you in a state of mind that keeps you needing to say them again anytime too soon.